My second request seems so selfish to me after seeing what my friend is going through, but I am really feeling like I need your prayers. Ever since I lost Juanito I have been having health problems. My biggest problem are my ears and an ongoing infection in the bones behind them. I had tubes placed in my ears about a month ago, but they are not doing their job. Yesterday I went back to the doctor and he feels like the only option is to operate again. They will make an incision behind the ear lift it forward and scrape out the infected air cells in the mastoid bone. They can only do one ear at a time, so I will get to endure this twice. I am really bummed out. I was hoping to be able to try for my rainbow baby soon, but that does not look likely. My first surgery will be the end of this month. I then have to recover and go in for the next maybe in May.
I feel so selfish asking for prayers when there are families out there who need them more. I just am unsure what else I can do. It's been hard enough to be suffering from a broken heart, but having my health compromised with has made this journey very difficult. I am also feeling very guilty for wanting to try for another baby so soon. I never want to forget Juanito, but I feel like I have the room in my heart to love another one just as much as him. I am scared that as I get older my Hoshimoto's is going to take over and cause fertility problems. I'm already seeing signs of that happening. I guess this week is my week to have a great big pitty-party and you all are invited!