It hurts so much to see all this new life sprouting around me and all I was able to contribute was death! Juan brought home 10 baby chicks 2 days ago and we lost one yesterday. Death has cursed me. I can't find they joy in things like I used to.
Tuesday I go back under the knife to have the bone behind my left ear scraped. The infection is being so stubborn and antibiotics aren't touching it. It seems like misery has become my company. Well didn't it get the message that I don't like company to stay very long? Apparently not, cuz it won't leave.
Back to Spring. I hate Spring this year. I want it to fly by and Summer to get here fast. Although I am sure Summer will bring a whole load of different feelings. Hopefully some of them will be accompanying a pregnancy.