Well today the little one had other plans. She slept through a big portion of the lesson, but decided that she wanted to see what was going on. I was forced to get her out of her carseat and hold her. I was OK. She is cute and I had fun snuggling with her. I didn't even shed a tear. It was as if nothing bad had ever happen to me and I was back to normal. I was so proud of myself !!!
Well it has now be a couple of hours and my arms are aching to hold a baby. I feel a desperation to have a baby in my arms. What was I thinking? What I could just go back to like it was before. Holding a baby, having fun and then giving it back?!?! Well that didn't happen and now I am screwed!!! I am left with an emptiness in both my heart and arms. Will this ache ever go away?