Monday, August 30, 2010

8 months

I wanted to write this yesterday, but my sweet hubby decided that he just needed to spend some quality time with me this weekend and he forbid me from using my computer. It has been 8 long months since I held my precious son in my arms. I miss him so much! It feels like it was just yesterday that I was laying in the US room and I asked/told the tech that he was gone. I knew right away. I had seen enough US in my life to know that he was gone. All she could do was hug me and tell me she was sorry. Well and all I could say was it was OK. It really wasn't Ok. I had just lost my son, but I didn't know what else to say. Juan and I had to enter that very room just this last week. It brought back so many emotions and I had to tell Juan step by step what happened. It was so helpful for me to be able to do that. I have been able to talk more about everything with Juan lately and he has been so supportive. I know he doesn't want to relive it, but I need to get it off my shoulders. He has been such an mazing help with it all lately. I miss my baby boy more than anyone will ever know, but I have found a renewed hope. I know without a doubt that God is going to bless us with a beautiful and healthy rainbow. I know that everything is going to work out. A rainbow will never replace my sweet Juanito, but it will help with the healing.

Mommy, wants you to know that I miss you so much, but I know that you are giving me the courage to move forward and carry on sweet baby boy. Protect your future baby brother of sister and let them know that I am patiently waiting for the day that they will come into our lives. You are such an amazing little man and I know you are with me everyday!!!

8 comments:

  1. {{HUGS}} Remembering Juanito with You.

    Caroline

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  2. I've been back to the same ultrasound room before. It's so hard!! Hugs and for both of our rainbows <3

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  3. So much love friend....their time with us and the time that has passed since they were with is unbelievable and amazing and tragic and heartbreaking and such a blessing and just a million other things all together and it's so hard to experience them all...

    THinking of your sweet boy with you!!
    xoxo

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  4. Juanito, you have been in Heaven for 8 months now, enjoying God's glory. You are loved and missed - we wish you were here with us. I know you must be a sweet angel friend to all of our babies who left too soon.
    Michelle, hugs to you and your family as you remember Juanito.

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  5. Thinking of you, Michelle, and your sweet Juanito.

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