Friday, October 29, 2010

10 Months

Happy 10 months in Heaven my sweet baby boy!!! I honestly can't believe it has been 10 months since we said hello and goodbye all at the same time. This week has been an emotional one to say the least. I love Halloween and it has been really hard no being able to plan out our Halloween with Juanito here. I should have a 6 month old wearing a purple Teletubby costume my mom made for my oldest. It has been a tradition to have each child wear this costume their first Halloween. I wish I had him here with us today to parade him around the school and show him off to all my colleagues and students. I know they would be just oohing and awing all over him. They would be happily passing him back and forth and he would be just a ham for all of them. Then it would be his momma's turn and he would snuggle right down into my shoulder and probably drift off to sleep form all the excitement. But that is only my dream of what I wish could have been. I miss him so much. I know he is in a better place and smiles down on us everyday, but that doesn't make this grief I feel any less. He is a perfect spirit now and I can't wait for the day I will get the chance to hold him again and make up all the lost time. 10 months seems like an eternity, but at the same time, I remember it like it was yesterday.

Little man mommy is so proud of you and I know you are up there doing so many good things. You were such a strong little guy even when your environment was less than perfect for you. I wish things could have turned out differently, but for some reason you were not meant to be here on earth. I think about you on a daily basis and I imagine what you would have looked like and acted like. I can't wait for the day that we can be reunited and make up for all the many days and nights we spent apart. I hope you have a gigantic halloween party with all your friends this weekend.
Keep a close eye on your baby sister. If she is anything like you big sister she needs to have someone keep a close watch on here. I know you 2 are having so much fun and I am so happy for that.
I love you and miss you so much!!!!


  1. Happy 10 months in Heaven Juanito.
    Thinking of you and sending {{HUGS}}


  2. Much love Michelle!! Happy 10 months Juanito!

  3. Thinking of you, Michelle!!! XO