I am the wife of a wonderful husband and the mother of 4 beautiful children here on earth and a sweet little angel in Heaven. Our lives haven't been easy, but I am so thankful for all of my many life experiences. They have helped me to learn, grow and become the person I am today!
Happy 13 months in Heaven sweet baby boy!!! Mommy misses you just as much today as she did 13 months ago. I would do almost anything just to have you and hold you 1 more time! You are such a special little man and I know you are doing so many good things up there in Heaven. I honestly can't wait till the day I get to hold you and see you again. It will be such an amazing day. Give you baby sister big hugs and kisses for me and make sure you do something very special for you 13 month birthday!!!
So a few days ago my work computer crashed. I didn't realize how much I used the dang thing. I called tech. support and they came and picked it up. They are so back logged that it is taking them 2-3 months to repair them and get them back. I was so freaked because I didn't know how I was going to prepare for my upcoming maternity leave. That was the only thing on my mind. Then the tech showed up today with it in hand! I was over the moon. She said she told the repair guy about my situation and he repaired it on the spot!
Then reality hit me.... I LOST EVERYTHING!!! I am still praying that they will be able to recover it. I don't care how long it takes. I had 100's of pictures on that hard drive! The majority I am positive I have back ups of, but there were many of Juanito's name and different pictures that had been made for me that I am not sure if I have a back up of. I feel as if a part of him was lost all over again. Part of his stuff might be lost. Oh I pray that the tech will be able to recover HIS file! I don't care if I have to start from scratch on everything else. I need HIS file to be there and be safe. I need for them to be able recover HIM. I need what I have left of HIM safe!!! I will never make the mistake of not double and triple backing up again. If they can recover my pictures I will make sure to email them and hard copy them!
Today is Adriana's 9th birthday and I want so badly to give her everything her little heart desires. One thing I have learned from losing Juanito is that we can't take anything granted in life and we need to seize every moment. Unfortunately, I have been really sick this week and on IV antibiotics. My ear infections have returned with a vengeance. It is all I can do to take her to see a movie today and buy a cake to cut when her dad gets home from work. I feel so guilty that I can't be the mom I feel like I should be because of my health. Every time I turn around I am sick or feel so horrible that I can't do whatever it is the kids are asking me to do. To top it all off I miss my baby boy today and I know that I will never have opportunities like today to have with him. He will never get to go watch a movie with his brothers and sisters and I. I will never get to watch him blow out the candles or open presents.
A few hours later.....
This day has certainly been a roller coaster of a day and it's not even half way over! I went for a ride and had a good cry. It certainly has helped! I now need to suck it up for a few hours and enjoy some birthday fun with my 9 year old princess!!!
I have come down with a horrible ear infection and I am on IV antibiotics. It is going to be a few more days before I can get your Juanito's Wish gifts dropped in the mail. I am so sorry I haven't been able to get them out quicker. Life is so hectic!!! Thank you for your patience!
Can I just say the winter weather this year has been crazy here in Utah!!! I honestly can't believe that we had to postpone everything this long. The kids made Juanito a birthday cake which turned out quite tasty if I do say so myself. We also had to scale down our balloon release by quite a bit =( I had planned on buying a bunch of balloons and writing all of Juanito's angel friend's names on them, but it was just too bitter cold and the 4 balloons we did release didn't float very well. But I know the ones we were able to release my boy was waiting for with open arms. Here are a few pictures from the day.
I'm having issues with being able to upload pictures right now and I didn't want to wait too long for this post, so it will we done with out pictures for the time being. =***(
Ok and now onto Juanito's first birthday giveaway! Thank you so much for being patient and so generously opening your wallets to Juanito's Wish. I had 6 people who donated on or before Juanito's birthday. They donated a total of $65. Which means 65 entries.... YAY!!! I didn't take a picture of the actual keychain that I am giving away, but this is one I found on the internet that looks similar.
Here is how I divided up the entries.
Jen P. 31-50
Phoenix and Rainbow 51-60
Drum roll please....... The winner of the keychain is....
Congratulations to Cesar! He happened to be over visiting my husband one night after work when we started discussing Juanito's Wish and the giveaway. He immediately took out his wallet and handed us all the cash he had in there. I was in shock at how he was so willing to help out. I just wish I had one to give all of those who entered!!!
I have made a slight change to the January 10th Giveaways....
Instead of holding 2 or 3 more giveaways I have decided to give everyone who has donated to Juanito's Wish a gift from us! I know most of you gave me your addresses for Christmas and I should still have them. If you do not think I have your address will you please email it to me at jymr05 (at) juno (dot) com.
Thank you so much for the love and support you have given us this past year. I know it has been this wonderful community that has made this journey easier on us. I know through your generosity other baby loss families will also feel you love!