Saturday, January 22, 2011

Struggling today!

Today is Adriana's 9th birthday and I want so badly to give her everything her little heart desires. One thing I have learned from losing Juanito is that we can't take anything granted in life and we need to seize every moment. Unfortunately, I have been really sick this week and on IV antibiotics. My ear infections have returned with a vengeance. It is all I can do to take her to see a movie today and buy a cake to cut when her dad gets home from work. I feel so guilty that I can't be the mom I feel like I should be because of my health. Every time I turn around I am sick or feel so horrible that I can't do whatever it is the kids are asking me to do. To top it all off I miss my baby boy today and I know that I will never have opportunities like today to have with him. He will never get to go watch a movie with his brothers and sisters and I. I will never get to watch him blow out the candles or open presents.

A few hours later.....
This day has certainly been a roller coaster of a day and it's not even half way over! I went for a ride and had a good cry. It certainly has helped! I now need to suck it up for a few hours and enjoy some birthday fun with my 9 year old princess!!!


  1. Dear Michelle - I hope you get well soon. You have had so much to bear. I pray you will get totally well soon and will be able to do more things with your children. I'll bet your princess girl understands and knows Mommy loves her so much. Happy birthday to her! xoxo

  2. I'm sure you made her birthday so special. I pray you are healed and feeling better soon, my friend. {hugs}